Brotherly Love

This afternoon, when I got off work, I went to my Mom & Dad's house where my mom had been watching the kids all day. They were already outside, and after greeting me, they started to meander towards the back yard. Ashton resolved Sadie's melt-down when she couldn't figure out how to get down the retaining wall - he showed her how to sit down on her bottom and scoot her way down - so helpful. Then my mom and I started to follow them when Ashton said, "Mom, you and Nana stay in the front yard and Sadie and I will stay in the back yard." I told him that he would have to keep a close eye on Sadie and be responsible for taking care of her. He reassured me that this was what he wanted. I ended up stepping in when Sadie went to follow her brother up into the treehouse, because the ladder used to climb up it isn't exactly meant for a 1 (or almost-2) year old. I can't tell you how many times, okay about 10!, Ashton kept telling me to go back with Nana and that he would watch Sadie and that he needed her to play with him. It was so precious. I have this mental picture of them on the trampoline too, Sadie tackling Ashton, and Ashton graciously taking it and laughing all the while. She's good for Ashton, because he usually doesn't get to rough-house until Dad gets home from work. Plus, I just plain appreciated them laughing about it and not turning the situation into a fight! :)

Then tonight, as I was tucking Ashton in to bed, I told him how happy it makes me to see him being such a good brother, taking care of his sister, and having fun playing with her. He instantly started crying, saying "I'm going to miss my sister when I grow up." They were real tears that he used his blanket to wipe away. :( He even had to repeat himself because I couldn't understand what he was saying through the tears! As a mother, this made my eyes water up too. But I was optomistic for him and I told him that he won't ever have to leave her and that as a family we will always stick together.

After going through the bedtime routine (singing Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, Happy Birthday, ABC... and then praying) I got up to leave his bedroom and he said, "When I am 51 will you still live with me?" Of course, I told him Yes, for as long as he wants me to live with him, I will. :)

I can understand his sensitivity to separation, after all what 4 year-old wants to think about being separated from his mom, dad, and sister?? And some nights he'll talk about his 3-year old friend whose Dad is already in heaven. And to top it all off, he's trying to get a grasp on eternity in heaven (aren't we all?!), how he'll get to heaven (he wants to fly in Mom's arms), and what we'll do for forever! He's such a deep thinker. In fact, tonight he asked me if God is a body or a spirit!

I just love these kids. :) Here is a picture of Ashton holding Sadie like he "used to do when she was a baby - with a pillow on his lap, and Sadie laying on the pillow." Oh, and he's reading a story to her this way. ;)

We're Leaving Soon

On Sunday April 19, 2009 we get on a plane headed to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. My grandparents have a timeshare week that they are very graciously giving us. I am excited because I dreamed of going to such a place for our honeymoon. While San Antonio, TX was a fine actual destination, this 2nd honeymoon will be even more adventurous and exotic! I am blessed. We shall return April 26.

Here are the logistics: My family and Aaron's family will each keep the kids half of the time. The kids will sleep at home in their own beds while under Jack & Mary's care, and the kids will sleep in "their" beds at Grandpa & Nana's house while there. As you can imagine, the 21-month old doesn't need "nursey," but because she is accustomed to it, I have one bottle of breast milk for her, albeit a small one (4-5 oz.), probably to be used when she wakes up in the middle of the night. I plan to pump while we are gone so that she can continue nursing when we return home, if she so desires. The plane tickets have been purchased. Aaron's passport has arrived. (I already have one.)

And now that the details are taken care of, there is time and room for several emotions to take root and quickly spread. Every time one of the kids does something cute, Aaron and I take mental note and sometimes even look at each other and say, "..and we're going to leave them?!" I mean honestly, Ashton and Sadie are like my best buds because I spend the most time with them. I will miss them a lot.

Which leads me to another emotion -- what will Aaron and I do with the time to ourselves? I mean, sure, at first it won't be a problem, but what about Day 3 or Day 4? Will we look at each other with nothing to say? Will we find stuff to do apart from our kids? I'm almost afraid that we won't know each other. Wow, that was weird and hard to write. I suppose that means this time away is in great order, for the benefit of our marriage and of our kids.

I wonder if every parent in our shoes would have thoughts about death and not returning. Or am I being given signs that it will happen?! Okay, I know that sounded ridiculous and now I feel I must explain myself. 1) My grandma has voiced her concern (more than once) from the day she found out we were going to Mexico, because from what she hears on the news, Mexico is not a safe place to be. 2) Aaron and I were looking at excursions we can go on while in Mexico and while one in particular must be safe enough (or else it wouldn't be offered), I couldn't help but think that I wouldn't want to do it out of fear that I might not return to my children! 3) We updated our wills because we hadn't since Sadie was born. There are a lot emotions while thinking about not being here to raise our kids, and then deciding who should raise them. 4) Several times while typing this blog, I've used strange pronouns and tenses of verbs that make it sounds like something bad might happen, and then I've quickly rewritten them.

(Okay, I think I am over-analyzing Number 4. It's hard to switch back and forth between writing about being here vs. being there, and about now (before we leave) vs. then (when we return).)

So yes, that is the plan. Everything has been perfectly orchestrated. And there is a time for everything. I am at peace that God has good in store. And I look forward to seeing what the week holds in store. I wonder what the post will read that I write when we return... :)

I Want My Mommy...

Ashton has a usual routine of asking that Mommy tuck him in to bed, and tonight Aaron told Ashton that he was going to tuck Ashton in to bed! As usual, Ashton, in his dismay, whimpered and whined over and over again, "No, I want my Mommy to tuck me in."

I caved.

So while I was tucking Ashton in to bed, I asked him, "why do you so badly want mommy to always tuck you in instead of Daddy?" I wanted a serious answer. (Yes, I was trying to boost my self esteem! :) Plus, it would be incentive to keep being the one to always tuck Ashton in to bed each night.) I don't know if his answer was serious or if it was one of his off-the-cuff excuses -- "You just smell different ..... and I don't like the smell .... that Daddy's .... body .... makes."

:)

Stranger Things Have Happened...

...but this is this most recent mystery: Sadie has started adding "-ia" [pronouned eeh-uh] to the end of her nouns, especially people's names. It started yesterday when she kept calling me "Mom-ia." I was about to go bonkers by the end of the day! I don't know why it bothered me so, but it did. :) And Daddy or Da-da has been replaced by "Dad-ia." I guess Ash-ia is too hard to say so Sadie calls Ashton "Idea." When we correct her, she just says, "no, Idea," reinforcing her original pronunciation. If I didn't know better, I would be afraid that Sadie was regressing in her speech! Here she used to speek good, but now this! I am trying to not let it get to me, and I don't correct her very often because I don't want this to become a control issue / attention-getter, so hopefully this silly talk will end soon. ;)

Sadie also has a thing for pointing out all other babies that she sees in public (nevermind some of them are as old as her, maybe even older). Last night Aaron took the kids to play at The Toy Store while I grocery shopped, and when we all got home he told me that Sadie saw a 4 or 5 year-old girl in the store and pointed at her and said, "bab-ia"!

Consignment Sale

So this last Wednesday evening Angie and I went to Independence MO to the Just Between Friends consignment sale. It is all children's clothing, maternity clothes, and other baby gear (similar to Mommy and Me, Animal Crackers, etc.), for sale for a few days, twice a year (this time they were selling spring/summer clothes and next time it will be fall/winter stuff). I wanted to go the last time there was a sale but it didn't work into my schedule, so I was excited to finally be able to go.

Since I'm pretty well stocked up on toys, books, cribs, high chairs, etc, and since I'm not pregnant, I was mostly in the market for children's' clothes! Before I went, I got all the kids future clothes out of storage to see what I already had, and what they still needed. So I went with a list! Oh, and we went the night before the sale was open to the public (it's really a sneak preview for pregnant / first-time moms) because I won a pass from a BeCentsable giveaway!

I must admit, I was surprised at the size of the event -- I thought it was going to be a huge area (like the Expocentre), but it was really the size of about 1/2 the Expocentre. Anyway...technicalities! My only other observation was that the clothes weren't as high-quality as I thought they were going to be. It looked like some mothers had owned the clothes and reused them on all 4 (for example) of their children, and then decided to still sell them at the consignment sale! Needless to say, some of the clothes were out of style and others were just kind of plain. I guess since we were going to a sneak preview, I thought there would be a bunch of good stuff, you know?! If I didn't know better, I would have thought we were there on the last day or so!

Anyway, you wouldn't know I was somewhat disappointed by the fact I had a $235 bill, would you?! No, I don't think I picked up crumby stuff. ;) But I don't think there was much left after I was done either! And I stuck to my list. :) In total, I got 54 pieces of clothing...that's an average of $4.35/piece. While these weren't garage sale prices (obviously), compared to paying full price, I still feel like I got a good deal. PLUS I really like the idea of reusing clothes instead of buying new. In fact, I'm not sure which makes me more excited -- being "green" or saving money! As usual, it was easier to buy clothes for the girl than it was for the boy... Plus, I bought clothes for Sadie in 2 sizes (18-24 months and 2T) and just needed one size for Ashton (4T). So while Ashton only needs 4T clothes to get him through this summer, Sadie will need 24 months and then 2T as well. (And since she'll quit growing as fast, the 2T clothes will again fit her for a while next summer. Yay!)

I bought Sadie 4 dresses, a jean skirt with a matching top, 1 pair of jeans, 3 other pants, 1 swimming suit, 1 button-up sweater, 1 zip-up jacket, 10 shorts/capris, and 16 spring/summer tops. I bought Ashton a pair of dress shoes, swimming trunks, a pair of pajamas, a KU mesh tank top with matching shorts, 3 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of shorts, and 4 shirts.

My analysis: My eyes did bug out when the cashier read "$235 dollars please". I wasn't planning to spend that much! I still am not sure if I would have spent that much over the next few months (you know, in like several individual shopping trips) if I hadn't gone. But I stuck to my list so I feel justified....who knows. Garage sales have been slim pickin' for me the last two years, so I wanted to give this a try. Besides, the 6 hours of girl-time, without kids, SHOPPING! was worth at least that much! ;)

I Won!

Ha! At least when I war against myself, I know I'll win! (Not something I can always say, like when Aaron and I disagree, etc. hehe)

No, but seriously, I want to put closure to the last post and update those of you who graciously shared your advice with me regarding my delimma with Ashton's Christmas gift wish. I really do appreciate you taking the time to respond. A couple of you suggested that I explain to Ashton that the power wheels gift would be too big for Santa to bring on the sleigh and still have room for everyone else's gifts too. I tell you, I was so beside myself that I wasn't thinking creatively enough and I justed needed you to open my eyes to other options!! This explaination sounded good enough to me! Thank you for your help. :)

When Ashton asked how he would ever get the power wheels toy, I told him that it is probably the type of toy that his mommy and daddy could buy for him, "perhaps for his birthday" (February 20). So we sat down and wrote a letter to Santa with a list of toys that he would be happy to receive, understanding that it is up to Santa to choose what gets delivered.

We put the letter in the mailbox ;) and Ashton got a toy chain saw and a stuffed elephant from Santa for Christmas (among many many other things from others). Since then, I have not heard one word about him not getting the power wheels toy! Yay!! This just goes to show that he has no grasp of how expensive a toy is and that, really, any toy will do.

I learned my lesson. ;)