Thursday, April 09, 2009

We're Leaving Soon

On Sunday April 19, 2009 we get on a plane headed to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. My grandparents have a timeshare week that they are very graciously giving us. I am excited because I dreamed of going to such a place for our honeymoon. While San Antonio, TX was a fine actual destination, this 2nd honeymoon will be even more adventurous and exotic! I am blessed. We shall return April 26.

Here are the logistics: My family and Aaron's family will each keep the kids half of the time. The kids will sleep at home in their own beds while under Jack & Mary's care, and the kids will sleep in "their" beds at Grandpa & Nana's house while there. As you can imagine, the 21-month old doesn't need "nursey," but because she is accustomed to it, I have one bottle of breast milk for her, albeit a small one (4-5 oz.), probably to be used when she wakes up in the middle of the night. I plan to pump while we are gone so that she can continue nursing when we return home, if she so desires. The plane tickets have been purchased. Aaron's passport has arrived. (I already have one.)

And now that the details are taken care of, there is time and room for several emotions to take root and quickly spread. Every time one of the kids does something cute, Aaron and I take mental note and sometimes even look at each other and say, "..and we're going to leave them?!" I mean honestly, Ashton and Sadie are like my best buds because I spend the most time with them. I will miss them a lot.

Which leads me to another emotion -- what will Aaron and I do with the time to ourselves? I mean, sure, at first it won't be a problem, but what about Day 3 or Day 4? Will we look at each other with nothing to say? Will we find stuff to do apart from our kids? I'm almost afraid that we won't know each other. Wow, that was weird and hard to write. I suppose that means this time away is in great order, for the benefit of our marriage and of our kids.

I wonder if every parent in our shoes would have thoughts about death and not returning. Or am I being given signs that it will happen?! Okay, I know that sounded ridiculous and now I feel I must explain myself. 1) My grandma has voiced her concern (more than once) from the day she found out we were going to Mexico, because from what she hears on the news, Mexico is not a safe place to be. 2) Aaron and I were looking at excursions we can go on while in Mexico and while one in particular must be safe enough (or else it wouldn't be offered), I couldn't help but think that I wouldn't want to do it out of fear that I might not return to my children! 3) We updated our wills because we hadn't since Sadie was born. There are a lot emotions while thinking about not being here to raise our kids, and then deciding who should raise them. 4) Several times while typing this blog, I've used strange pronouns and tenses of verbs that make it sounds like something bad might happen, and then I've quickly rewritten them.

(Okay, I think I am over-analyzing Number 4. It's hard to switch back and forth between writing about being here vs. being there, and about now (before we leave) vs. then (when we return).)

So yes, that is the plan. Everything has been perfectly orchestrated. And there is a time for everything. I am at peace that God has good in store. And I look forward to seeing what the week holds in store. I wonder what the post will read that I write when we return... :)

1 comment:

Sara said...

You are completely normal with your fears about leaving and not returning. I have the same thoughts every time we leave the kids for more than 12 hours (which we do frequently), even if we're just spending the night in KC or our own bedroom, let alone going far away. As mom's we're used to being so in control of their little worlds that it's hard to imagine being so far away and having absolutely no control. The fact is, that we all have to come to terms with, is that we really don't have any control even when we're holding them in our arms. They (and we) are God's and He is our keeper and protector.

Have a great time in Mexico! From what I hear, all of the violence is at the border and the resort towns are still quite safe. Enjoy this time with your hubby! And then come back energized and refreshed and ready to love those kids like nobody's business. :-)