We're Leaving Soon

On Sunday April 19, 2009 we get on a plane headed to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. My grandparents have a timeshare week that they are very graciously giving us. I am excited because I dreamed of going to such a place for our honeymoon. While San Antonio, TX was a fine actual destination, this 2nd honeymoon will be even more adventurous and exotic! I am blessed. We shall return April 26.

Here are the logistics: My family and Aaron's family will each keep the kids half of the time. The kids will sleep at home in their own beds while under Jack & Mary's care, and the kids will sleep in "their" beds at Grandpa & Nana's house while there. As you can imagine, the 21-month old doesn't need "nursey," but because she is accustomed to it, I have one bottle of breast milk for her, albeit a small one (4-5 oz.), probably to be used when she wakes up in the middle of the night. I plan to pump while we are gone so that she can continue nursing when we return home, if she so desires. The plane tickets have been purchased. Aaron's passport has arrived. (I already have one.)

And now that the details are taken care of, there is time and room for several emotions to take root and quickly spread. Every time one of the kids does something cute, Aaron and I take mental note and sometimes even look at each other and say, "..and we're going to leave them?!" I mean honestly, Ashton and Sadie are like my best buds because I spend the most time with them. I will miss them a lot.

Which leads me to another emotion -- what will Aaron and I do with the time to ourselves? I mean, sure, at first it won't be a problem, but what about Day 3 or Day 4? Will we look at each other with nothing to say? Will we find stuff to do apart from our kids? I'm almost afraid that we won't know each other. Wow, that was weird and hard to write. I suppose that means this time away is in great order, for the benefit of our marriage and of our kids.

I wonder if every parent in our shoes would have thoughts about death and not returning. Or am I being given signs that it will happen?! Okay, I know that sounded ridiculous and now I feel I must explain myself. 1) My grandma has voiced her concern (more than once) from the day she found out we were going to Mexico, because from what she hears on the news, Mexico is not a safe place to be. 2) Aaron and I were looking at excursions we can go on while in Mexico and while one in particular must be safe enough (or else it wouldn't be offered), I couldn't help but think that I wouldn't want to do it out of fear that I might not return to my children! 3) We updated our wills because we hadn't since Sadie was born. There are a lot emotions while thinking about not being here to raise our kids, and then deciding who should raise them. 4) Several times while typing this blog, I've used strange pronouns and tenses of verbs that make it sounds like something bad might happen, and then I've quickly rewritten them.

(Okay, I think I am over-analyzing Number 4. It's hard to switch back and forth between writing about being here vs. being there, and about now (before we leave) vs. then (when we return).)

So yes, that is the plan. Everything has been perfectly orchestrated. And there is a time for everything. I am at peace that God has good in store. And I look forward to seeing what the week holds in store. I wonder what the post will read that I write when we return... :)

I Won!

Ha! At least when I war against myself, I know I'll win! (Not something I can always say, like when Aaron and I disagree, etc. hehe)

No, but seriously, I want to put closure to the last post and update those of you who graciously shared your advice with me regarding my delimma with Ashton's Christmas gift wish. I really do appreciate you taking the time to respond. A couple of you suggested that I explain to Ashton that the power wheels gift would be too big for Santa to bring on the sleigh and still have room for everyone else's gifts too. I tell you, I was so beside myself that I wasn't thinking creatively enough and I justed needed you to open my eyes to other options!! This explaination sounded good enough to me! Thank you for your help. :)

When Ashton asked how he would ever get the power wheels toy, I told him that it is probably the type of toy that his mommy and daddy could buy for him, "perhaps for his birthday" (February 20). So we sat down and wrote a letter to Santa with a list of toys that he would be happy to receive, understanding that it is up to Santa to choose what gets delivered.

We put the letter in the mailbox ;) and Ashton got a toy chain saw and a stuffed elephant from Santa for Christmas (among many many other things from others). Since then, I have not heard one word about him not getting the power wheels toy! Yay!! This just goes to show that he has no grasp of how expensive a toy is and that, really, any toy will do.

I learned my lesson. ;)

Thank You Hal

I receive a weekly e-newsletter from Hal Runkel of ScreamFree Living and in the most recent newsletter, was the following excerpt. I love it because it sums up how I've been feeling and what I've been thinking, but just couldn't verbalize until now.

I want a child who recognizes the all-important law of sowing and reaping. I am only getting in the way of that if I rescue him from those consequences and allow my disapproval and anger to stand in their place.

When I tell Ashton to put this shirt on because we're leaving soon, or to eat your yogurt now because we're going to bed in five minutes, and when he doesn't do it, I don't want to be the one who goes back on my word and gets all bent out of shape -- it should be him who regrets not obeying!

I love it. I love it. I love it.